In my quest for continued happiness I realized sometimes people we are connected with are not good for our overall well-being. Even though beautiful souls and all in a sense sisters and brothers I struggled with how to separate myself physically and spatially if not in spirit.
Visiting less frequently, while focusing my appreciation on more positive attributes helped. But when the person I seemed to be uplifting, no matter how I tried to protect myself, continually exhausted me I looked for guidance from within. I found the answer was simple though it took time to come the conclusion. I can no longer allow another’s unhappiness or dysfunction to derail my joy. But in that it meant it was my problem. Simple, right?
How do you let someone go without hurting them, without feeling guilty? I fretted over that age old question as I remained in contact. As I stewed I now realize I was manifesting a departure.
Friendships are sometimes like walking a tight rope. Not always, but eventually someone is bound to fall. Most times it’s a casual slip from distance or change of interests. No one seems to get hurt, the rope has frayed and your bonds vanish. Sometimes someone cuts the cord. And it’s not always the one holding the scalpel, because intention is a funny thing.
Poor timing? Perfect timing? Gently asking for space has precipitated a wild reaction. As I listen to the bombardment and don’t defend what needs no defense it is easy to see that the accusations being heaped at my feet are actually the exact thing the person, I’m asking for time, mirror. I do not engage because the sweet smell of freedom beckons. The person I wanted most to establish liberty from has a pair of scissors they are hiding behind their back. They stab first then snip. The blades missed their mark though they severed the rope. “Goodbye.”
How do you let someone go without hurting them, without feeling guilty? Answer. Unless they want the same thing you can’t. I know the outburst stemmed from the person’s pain, anger, and lack of understanding. I derive no pleasure from another’s pain but I must weigh whether keeping the friendship is joyful or unhealthy. Being a caring person, I know now loving myself is first priority. Many people will likely disagree, believing you should put others before yourself and that is their right. And I hope these people are truly happy, though deep down—?
Blessing and sending love is the solution I have found to help release culpability. You can’t make yourself miserable enough to raise another out of their misery.
I will always appreciate the beauty of this person’s soul. And I know we remain connected. No matter how sharp the scissors we are still a part of all that is.
The uncomfortable feelings fade and the glorious flag of liberation takes its place. I am lighter.
I am happy:)